As a couples therapist, you see it all the time: One partner who, regardless of whether they work outside the home, takes on most of the domestic responsibilities while their partner continuously falls short of their partner’s expectations.  

Unequal emotional, household, and childcare labor is a hot-button issue in relationships—after all, it’s rooted in resentment, anger, and tension—yet finding a lasting solution to this all-too-common experience is a challenge, especially if a primary underlying factor isn’t addressed: an imbalance in the mental load.  

Mental load refers to the unseen cognitive work that goes into managing a household and family: planning social activities, keeping track of finances, scheduling appointments, following up with teachers’ notes, updating the family calendar. When this load is imbalanced, it keeps couples in a never-ending cycle of distress, fueling depression, anxiety, anger, grief, and hopelessness.   

To help clients break the cycle, join Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, and Eve Rodsky, NYT bestselling author and creator of the innovative Fair Play method, as they discuss how to help clients tackle the mental load—that often invisible labor that permeates even the healthiest of relationships—and build a more intimately connected relationship with their partner.  

Developed uniquely for therapists, this FREE 2-hour training integrates therapeutic approaches with the principles of equitable division of domestic labor to help clients: 

• Approach the mental load in an effective way using the Fair Play method 
• Uncover negative interaction cycles and communication patterns that prevent forward progress 
• Address barriers to change in their relationship 
• And so much more! 

Objectives

1. Determine the emotional impact of unequitable division of labor in a relationship.  

2. Evaluate relational dynamics that both strengthen and interfere with the likelihood of establishing more equitable division of labor within a relationship.   

3. Integrate the Fair Play method into couples therapy to improve insight, communication, and relationship satisfaction for clients.  

Outline

The Mental Load: What is it, and Why is it So Crucial to Address? 

• Invisible labor, cognitive load, “worry work” 
• Why equitable division of labor is about more than who-does-what-task 
• Contributing factors and the negative impact it has on couples 
• Common barriers to addressing the mental load  
• Intra- and interpersonal factors of carrying and managing the mental load 

The Fair Play Method: An Empowering Approach to Balancing the Load and Improving Relationships 

• The “why” of Fair Play  
• Key limitations of traditional behavioral strategies (e.g., to-do lists; reminders; calendars) 
• CPE: Conceive, Plan, Execute 
• Challenging faulty beliefs of “but to what level?”: The Minimum Standard of Care 
• Emphasizing communication, ownership, and accountability to improve relationship satisfaction 
• Values-based exploration 

Clinical Application of Fair Play: Setting Clients up for Long-term Success 

• Relational dynamics that exacerbate an age-old relationship issue  
• 3 negative relational cycles, informed by Emotional Focused Therapy  
• Overfunctioning/underfunctioning, emotional fusion, codependency 
• The EFT infinite loop; identifying attachment needs/longing within the mental load dynamic 
• How to engage both partners and secure buy-in 
• Evaluating internalized assumptions/perceptions 
• Value-based exercises for couples’ identification of shared values  
• Working with client difficulties related to power and control 

Target Audience

• Marriage and Family Therapists
• Counselors
• Social Workers
• Psychologists
• Addictions Counselors
• Relationship Coaches
• Codependency Coaches