It’s time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.
“Don’t You Know Who I Am?” has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It’s the tagline of the modern narcissist.
Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls.
Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized. They are manifestations of pathological insecurity—insecurities that are experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns. We venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, and they are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders.
There are few lives untouched by narcissists. These relationships infect those who are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression, and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances, and despondency when change never comes.
It’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time to stem the tide of narcissism, entitlement, and antagonism, and take our lives back.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting, a company that offers a range of programs focused on educating survivors, clinicians, coaches and businesses on the impacts of narcissism on health, wellness and functioning. She’s the author of Don’t You Know Who I Am: How to Stay Sane in the Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility, Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With A Narcissist. Dr. Ramani also has a popular YouTube channel that focuses on narcissism and difficult relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. Her work has been featured at SxSW, TEDx and on a wide range of media platforms including, Red Table Talk, the Today Show, Oxygen, Investigation Discovery and Bravo. She is also a featured expert on the digital media mental health platform MedCircle. Dr. Durvasula’s research on personality disorders has been funded by the National Institutes of Health and she is a Consulting Editor of the scientific journal Behavioral Medicine. Dr. Durvasula is a brutally honest voice on the struggles raised by narcissism in the US and globally.
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