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Love Map Exercise/Asking Open Ended Questions

The Gottman Institute
Jan 01, 1999
The Gottman Institute
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The Biblical term for making love was “knowing.” We have discovered that a very powerful predictor of marital stability is whether couples, particularly husbands, allocate “cognitive room” for their relationship and for the world of their partner. For some men, it is as if they have developed a map of the relationship and its history, and of their partner’s past and present concerns, preferences, experiences and reality.

A powerful predictor of relationship stability is how much detail each partner knows about the other's life. The "Love Map" card deck brings partners closer by helping them get more familiar with each other's world. Thoughtful questions and additional "Ask- Open Ended Questions" enable partners to connect emotionally, and increase intimacy and understanding in a fun, gentle way.



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